July 6, 2007 at 1:16 am | Posted in celebrities, mad mad world | 1 Comment

What do the Kingdom of Bahrain, the Neverland Ranch, and Maryland’s Eastern Shore have in common? They’re all past, current, and possible future homes of Michael Jackson. That’s right, Jacko is reportedly looking at properties in the Chesapeake Bay area. I guess now that Michael’s not really making new music or in very high demand for public appearances a nice house on the Bay probably makes a lot of sense to him.
You know, a nice, big house with plenty of storage space for the barometric chambers and piles of masks and scarves he uses to cover the faces of his blond haired, blue eyed “children” that I in *no* way mean to imply were actually babies he bought with his oodles of money to maintain some level of  normalcy only to raise them isolated from the world and unaware that most other fathers have actual noses that don’t need to be held on with double sided tape. Not to be mean or anything, but c’mon, Mike. Your DNA was CLEARLY not fused in whatever test tube those kids were created in.

Anyway, I think it will be interesting to see how well the locals react to someone with the hounding paparazzi presence of Michael Jackson moving into their area. I can’t imagine that their often sleepy way of life will bode well with this kind of intrusion.


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  1. I am kind of not ok with this potential move.

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