60,000 Nickels Must Weigh a Ton

July 9, 2007 at 10:34 pm | Posted in beer, friends, i win at life, philadelphia, summer | 1 Comment

I had a really delightful weekend, despite having to go into work for a few hours on Saturday morning, which I was DREADING because having off for the 4th my week was rather hectic and seemed to last forever. On top of that, while getting my bag ready for the evening, I discovered that my camera’s battery is no longer holding a charge, which I find highly suspect because all of my sources (AKA Google) have indicated that the battery I use should have a shelf life of at least a few years. I’ve only had this one since August. Highly suspect.

Saturday night found Jeremy and I meeting up with our friend Dennis and Bird at their place in Philly. After some deliberation (I don’t know if the four of us are indecisive by nature, or just incredibly easy going, but we tend to have early difficulty deciding on a game plan ) we took the subway down to South Street and made our way to Tattooed Mom for bar fare and some Stellas. Tired and starving from the walk, I pretty much inhaled waffle fries and a few pieces of pizza along with my beers and suddenly got really sleepy from the carb overload. I felt like one of those old men who has to undo the top button of his pants and start farting right after eating. A little walking around and storefront browsing let us to Cheers To You, where I decided that I had recovered enough to suck back a few more beers. The bar was nice and low-key, especially for the South Street area, which was just what i was looking for – it gives me a better chance of hijacking the jukebox! 13 songs for $5 is a bargain in my book because I have an extremely low tolerance for crap music and cannot possibly enjoy my beer while listening to Kelly Clarkson. Impossibility. Ten dollars, 26 songs, and a few more beers later we all parted ways we took a cab back to our car and were headed back home.

As we were passing the airport, I not so casually hinted to Jeremy that I wanted to go play the slot machines at Harrah’s Philadelphia Park casino. I know it’s cheesy, but 7 is my lucky number and after fix or six Stellas I was feeling rather confident in my ability to feed dollar bills into a machine and push buttons. We got into the casino and Jeremy announced that he was going off to play the penny slot machines. Ballin’! I played a little, lost a little, and then parked myself in front of a machine, pressed the button, and found myself in a bonus round. This is going to be a little hard to explain, but let me try anyway. The initial part of the bonus round for this game consisted of picking 3 tiles to reveal “prizes” to be used during the 5 free spins in the second part. The prizes are either: wild reels, additional free spins, automatic points, or a multiplier of your bonus points. The first tile I chose was an additional free spins, which was nice. The second and third picks gave me wilds on the first and fifth reels. This meant that no matter what, I was guaranteed to win at least *something* on each of my ten free spins. Sounds good, right?
My first 6 or 7 spins were uneventful. I think I had won a total of ten or twelve dollars. Then I hit the motherload. In addition to my automatic wilds on the first and fifth reels, wild space showed up in the three middle reels. In other words, wilds across the board. I thought to myself “Wow, that’s probably worth a couple hundred dollars!” and was shocked to see 60,000 credits come on the screen. Before my mind could even calculate the real value of 60,000 nickels the machine started beeping and flashing. I knew I had won something pretty substantial. The machine wouldn’t let me just end and get my ticket – instead it instructed me to sit tight and wait for an attendant. I tried calling Jeremy only to remember he had left his phone in the car, and patiently waited as an attendant took my information and filled out all the proper paperwork. When she informed me how much I had one I almost fell off the stool. $3196.45. Almost $3200. From a nickel machine. A nickel machine that I made my bitch! I had to pay out the rear end for taxes, but still walked away with a not so shabby $2100. Looks like we just may have a proper honeymoon after all.
We spent Sunday at a family reunion – Jeremy’s stepmother’s mothers side- people that we are actually not related to at all but were happy to spend time with. It was hotter than hell outside, but we were down by the river and there was a gorgeous breeze all day. We set up our awesome chairs (which I would just like to say, once again, are the best $18.99 I’ve spent in a long time) under a shady tree and drank iced tea and talked. If my chair had reclined, even slightly, I probably would have fallen asleep for most of the afternoon since I was still in a post gambling victory euphoria and sporting a teeny tiny hangover. As it was, I stayed awake, drank plenty of fluids, and watched ships pass on the river. Not a bad way to spend the day.

Today is ridiculously hot, and while there’s no use in complaining about it I’m still keeping myself inside and centrally air conditioned. Sounds like as good a time as any to organize the bathroom closet.

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  1. Wow – nice win! We stopped off at the Charles Town, WV race track and slots last weekend and proceeded to lose. Granted, we only played about $20 total, but boo.


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