About the time I almost blew my first day at the New Job

August 13, 2007 at 11:01 pm | Posted in artsy fartsy, best laid plans..., crafty, i win at life, work | Leave a comment

Let me make a suggestion to all of you out there about to embark on a new career. Your first day should be a relaxing one. Since you more than likely will spend the day just getting acquainted with your job and co-workers, it will be relatively pressure free and calm. Get plenty of rest the night before, plan out a nice leisurely commute, and make sure you know exactly what you are supposed to be doing when you arrive.

You should NOT, under any circumstances let your anxiety get the best of you the night before and only catch three hours of sleep in rough fits. You should also not leave your house ridiculously early only to waste time driving down the wrong streets trying to find the park and ride, only to stand around for the trolley anyway because – well, because you’re ridiculously early. You then should not proceed to show up at the WRONG BUILDING because you weren’t aware that your first day orientation was at another location, to which you now have no choice but to to high-tail your ass across the city to get to, which wouldn’t be so bad except that it’s like 789 degrees outside with 600% humidity and the shoes you are wearing , albeit adorable, are not made for jogging. Still, if all this happens to you, you should not attempt to cool down during the elevator ride with a nice bottle of water, because when the elevator comes to a jolting halt at your stop, 3/4 of the bottle will spill down your shirt and make you look even more disgusting and sweaty than you actually are.

Yes, I did all of the above this morning. Still, I made it to orientation on time, I remembered all my proper forms of ID, and I actually really like my group and my job thus far. I have a nice big cubicle (if such things exist, this surely is one) with a tiny little window view, and even if the window only looks out to the Washington Street side of the 11th Street YMCA, it’s still a view! I am exhausted, but hopefully I will sleep better tonight, manage my commute time a little better tomorrow morning, and gather enough trinkets and tchotchkes to pimp out my cubicle. I was planning on making cupcakes for my group as sort of an icebreaker – you know, “Hi, I’m new but I brought cupcakes. Let’s be friends!” but tonight I am so tired that I don’t think I have the energy to get to the store and get the mix. Pathetic. Maybe tomorrow?

Anyway, if any of my fellow cubicle dwellers out there have any suggestions on how to make my home away from home feel more like… well, home… let me know!

EDIT: I totally caved, went to the market, and got everything I needed to make strawberry cupcakes with cream cheese icing. I’m baking right now. However, in my defense, we needed toothpaste.

EDIT TO MY EDIT: I didn’t think this through very well, and as a result I have no idea how I am going to get 24 iced cupcakes into work riding the trolley. Oops.

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