About that time I discovered the joy of the clean close shave…

August 31, 2007 at 12:19 am | Posted in annoyances, beauty, free shit i love, i win at life, the sexes | 2 Comments

Okay, men. I get it. Shaving your face everyday must be a HUGE pain in the ass. I’ve known this for quite some time now, and it became even more evident to me after meeting the Old Boy, who sports a beard 99% of the time because he is too lazy to shave. I myself seriously slack on the leg shaving from time to time, especially in the winter when there is only one person in the world who will even see my legs, and he really can’t complain because he is, as I just told you, perpetually bearded.

Still, is that any reason for men’s razors to be SO MUCH BETTER than women’s razors? I just discovered this fact while in the shower this morning when I unabashedly pilfered a free five blade Gilette Fusion that arrived for my fiance as a free sample. When I first started to shave my legs my Mom made such a big deal about not using a man’s razor. She insisted on going out and buying a pack of pink Daisy disposables that either left stubble on my shins or took out huge chunks of my knees. Once, after I discovered that the razor I had been using was so dull it was practically curling the hair on my legs instead of cutting it I snuck into my parents’ bathroom and used the first thing I could find – my Dad’s Bic. I obviously left some evidence behind because my Mom came storming downstairs that afternoon, Bic in hand.

“Did you use this razor?” she asked me. I nodded. “Yeah, why?”

“Why? This is a MAN’S RAZOR!”

So I continued buying the pink princess razors and got exasperated with not having a clean close shave. That is, until I re-discovered the Joy! Of! Man! Razors! So many blades! So many moisture strips! So many head pivot angles! And not a single knick. I can’t stop touching my legs today, I’m actually kind of hot for myself right now.

God, are you men lucky. First you get the whole peeing-standing-up-thing, then you get the whole banana-in-my-pocket joke thing,  and now THIS? Has my gender not suffered enough? First you didn’t want us to vote, then you didn’t want us to work, and now you seek to deny us of quality hair removal instruments? We get stinky as Nair and painful wax strips and you get glorious 360 degree pivoting head razors with firm grip handles and warm lotion at your disposal?  The injustice. The humanity.

Anyway, there will be no more Daisies for me and my gams, that much is for sure.  All of the sudden I’m a Gilette (wo)man.  Maybe I’ll go out and get a nice can of Burma Shave to top it all off so my legs can be smooth and smell like pine all day. Phhh yeah.

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2 Comments »

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  1. Great post and oh so true! I also strike in the winter and allow the inner sasquatch to come out on my legs! It keeps me warmer. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

  2. I’m adding you to my blogroll so I can keep in touch! I like your site and want to hear all the details as your wedding gets closer. 😉


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